20 weeks and healthy as can be!

Your half way there my darling Breanne!! 

You sure move and grove in my belly! 

Daddy has gotten to feel you sissy Kyra, sissy Donna and brother Chase have all felt you kick! 

I am on and off bedrest. 

In your ultrasound last week we found your placenta is over my cervix, so I have full placenta Previa I sure hope it moves up. I do NOT want a c section!!! 

You move so much that the ultrasound tech could bearly get a clear picture of you! 

You are kicking!!

Boy are you gonna be an athlete! 

You dance all day in mama's belly!! You're gonna be 17 weeks old tomorrow and daddy has already felt you kicking too! 

Last week he was home from work and you were kicking away and I put his hand on my belly to feel you and he sure did! 

 Mama is just growing with your cute self! 

You've Been Named....

Im still in shock! 

Not just pregnant.. but with another little girl! 

I'm so excited I can early breathe! 

Speaking of breathing, I'm breathing very deeply these days, wearing masks everywhere is hard on a pregnant ladies lungs! 

Have I mentioned how annoying Covid is on the world right now? 

Well if I didn't it IS A PAIN IN THE BOOTY! 

Well back to the subject at hand, YOU! 

Daddy and I have decided on a name your name will be 

Breanna Danielle Billings

(BrE-on-a, Dan-yell, Bil-ings) 

There was some discussion on BrE-ann-a vs BrE-on-a... In the end, I got the one I wanted ;) 

Daddy very much wanted your name and wasn't taking no for an answer so I at least wanted to have a prettier version of it 😂. So we compromised.

The sisters and brother are all very excited! And so am I !! 

Love you little one!

Mama

Genetic testing.. your a WHAT?

So ok after the initial shock of learning we were pregnant with a healthy baby we got excited.  There is a large chance of down syndrome and other genetic disorders, because of my age (39) so they had me do special genetic testing to make sure you are a perfect little one. 

It also tells us the sex. 

At this point I was pretty convinced you were a boy, so much so I bought baby boy clothes and even named you! 

Buuuttttt... 

Today that changed. I called the Dr's office for the rest results. 

"Do you want to know the sex?" The nurse asked. 

"Sure" I responded convinced you were a boy..

"Looks like you're having a baby GIRL" WAIT WHAT!?!? 

I am happy you are you little one. Don't get me wrong I am greatfip for another little girl I love the girly dresses and pink and purple. I was just very shocked I was totally and completely wrong! Haha 🤣

So I gotta get rid of the 4 totes of baby boy clothes and buy you some cute headbands and cute girly clothes ;) 

I'm excited to go through the process of naming you!! 

Love you kiddo!!❤️

Mama

I'm scared

Hey little lady you are 13 weeks 1 day old today! 

I can't wait to see you but let's keep you baking for another 27 weeks, ok! 

Over the weekend mama has been quite sick with Corona. Yesterday daddy and I  went to the hospital to check on you!   

Because I have Corona-19 I can't go to my doctor's office, only the ER so I picked up daddy from work and we went in. 

We were able to see you moving and groving on the ultrasound! So happy to get to see you! 

You waved ALOT 

look at that last picture you've got quite the profile here! I can see your nose, your mouth your eyes your ears your cute little belly! I don't know what is above your head but it looks like a construction workers hat! 

Daddy says you look like a leprechaun. Haha well you ARE Irish! 

In the ultrasound they found what is called a "subchorionic hematoma" you can see it in the picture next to your placenta. 

It scares me knowing you have that. It can cause blessing and sometimes miscarriage. I've had enough of that. So I am praying you stay healthy and in my nice warm womb for at least 27 more weeks!! 

What scares me more is you coming into this uncertain world. With an unknown disease lingering over everyone's heads. Always in people's mind. 

Always feared. 

I have Coronavirus-19, not just getting it , but while pregnant is scary. In the first year of the whole diseases existence. 

So many unknowns. 

So many questions unanswered. 

I pray for you my baby, I pray you are safe. I pray you are born whole and with all of your functions, with no side effects of this nasty virus. 

I pray every day for this! 

It's an interesting time to be born. 

Your big sister Kyra was 9 months old when our country was attacked by terrorists on 9/11. Things changed so much. 

I wonder what will change with your life with these "new normal's." 

I pray for your safety. 

 

2 days later since the last hospital visit. Daddy now has Corona as well. So that's me, sissy Kyra and daddy. Sissy Donna is young and they say the young don't get it very easily unless they are sick anyway. So she is without sickness thank goodness!  I hope that applies to you as well! 

I love you my little lady! 

Your genetic testing should be ready this week so we will confirm how well you are. 

I'm looking forward to seeing how healthy you are! 

Love you! 

Mama

PREGNANCY in a Pandemic- mama has Covid!

The last couple days I've been feeling icky.. ears ringing, brain fog, tired... All pregnancy symptoms right? 

Sure in a normal world.. but not in the wake of the 2020 global pandemic known as Covid -19 

I had this awesome disease in March last year.. I figured I was immune. 

Apprerently I was wrong. Today I woke up especially winded, and breathless and began coughing. 

I had to get my first prego picture or of the way so I put on make up and got cute for the all famous pregnancy bump picture 

Sissy Kyra took it a million times until we got just the right photo. Haha 

I was determined I would push through whatever it was and be productive today. Sick as can be I went to the WIC office -IRONICALLY- at the health department. 

I came home exhausted as ever & decided to call my Dr. 

He told me to go to the ER immediately and get Covid tested.

  So I bundled up in hubby's coat. ( I'm wierd and like to wear it to feel him near me.. don't judge me lol 😂

See difference between earlier in day and then.. yikes right!! By this time my lungs were burning, I had a fever and HORRIBLE CHILLS. 

When I would cough my whole uterus would jump. It was a bumpy ride for you malady, but you took it just fine.

 

Masks suck .. and don't do much.. however everyone is forced to wear them even though I couldn't breathe.. 

This mask is covering up how crappy I felt

I was over it .. I took the mask off!! 

Who wears make up to the ER.. that would be me. Haha 

Anyway I tested positive so did sissy Kyra. 

They gave me a shot of medicine to thin my blood so your cute growing placenta doesn't get a blood clot. I have to take them daily for a whole month.. so fun... NOT! 

So back home me and sissy both went. It is currently 3:25 am and I still can't breathe or sleep .. ughhhhh 

The burning lungs, the ear ringing, the coughing, the CHILLS are keeping me up.. I sure hope you are ok after this stupid Covid leaves my body! Your my miracle baby!! 

Love you kiddo 

Mama 

WOW .. we did NOT see that coming!

So much has happened since we lost our Eliza. 

Jeremy and I Divorced and I swore never to get married again.. 

Well that is, until I met this cute guy at the Fiddler's drive-in .. 

We met at the drive in, he pulled up next to my 1996 Mustang convertible. I offered my chairs to his kids and we got talking, flirted, but he went back to his car when the movie started. (Even though I offered for him to sit in the mustang with me) 

I didn't talk to him after that, well , that day.

 I was bummed too cause that guy and I had so much chemistry. But he didn't ask for my number. So I thought if I were to go back to the dating game that guy would be right perfect for me.

A week later I was in a very serious roll over car accident. It left me in alot of pain. 

I couldn't shift the gears on my mustang very well so I decided to sell it (even though I love it, cause it truly is my dream car). I put it on Facebook marketplace (a place people sell stuff online). 

I got a message .. Robert started off by asking if I was at the Fiddler's drive in a few weeks ago. I spouted back very sassy (and very me) " yeah you were the hot guy that didn't ask for my number" .. 

Well that started a romance that would last for a very long time. 

We met Sept 28 2018 at the drive in, we started dating Dec. 6, 2018, engaged Feb 8th 2019 

and married Feb 8th 2020. 

Throughout our relationship I got pregnant many times, and promptly miscarried every time. I had so much heart break during this time. I was getting pregnant ever other month it seemed. It got to the point I didn't feel I could be happy to be pregnant. 

November 2020, I was pregnant again, this time with a Heterotopic pregnancy. I had one baby in my uterus, and one in my falopian tube. Neither were saveable. At 8 weeks (oct 28th) I had Chemotherapy to help the falopian baby. And Nov. 4th I had a D&C to remove the babies. 

This one BROKE ME. 

I WAS NOT  going to go through this again. I can't! My heart is too broken and my mental health was begining to suffer for it! 

All through November and December I grieved the loss of my boys, I was so sad. Sometimes I was so upset I would throw up! I was so emotional and hurting so deeply from the losses. 

January I started to feel pregnant again, but I was confused because I didn't even get my cycle back. Certainly I couldn't have been pregnant. 

Even if I was, I felt like I shouldn't even be excited because I would just lose the baby anyway. 

To save myself heart ache and heart break I just ignored any pregnancy symptoms as a way of "numbing myself" from the pain of the "impending loss." 

I hated that I felt that way! I hated that I was anything but over the moon excited. I couldn't allow myself that happiness, to just have it taken away again. 

January 24th I couldn't take it anymore I had to know. So I took a test... it was positive... 

My reaction "oh shit, here we go again, I'm gonna lose another baby"... 

I was angry at myself for feeling that way. I wanted to be excited but after so much heartbreak my mind was trying to protect my soul. 

I called and told Robert. (He was on the road for work) 

We thought at most I was just bearly pregnant. I called my doctor and told him and he said to get blood work done in the morning and to see him that afternoon. So I did. 

Going into the hospital for the blood work I was hoping for the best but bracing for the worst. 

I checked the rest results on my phone 90,000 HCG .. WHAT ?? HOW??? Thats not just pregnant but that's SUPER pregnant! How did this even happen? 

I went to the appt and the doctor did an ultrasound.. 

I was terrified, the last few times in the ultrasound room "there's no heartbeat" was said too many times than my heart will aknowledge. 

So terrified, my soul begging  for  a healthy heartbeat.. 

He puts the ultrasound wand in.. and we instantly saw a beautiful teddy bear baby. I kept asking, where's the heart beat where's the heart beat. 

Doctor heath responded .."We have a heart beat".. I broke down crying... 

He measured the baby .. 

11 weeks 1 day 

WAIT!  WHAT? HOW? 

We just had the DNC 11 weeks ago. 

The doctors response, "well something happened 9 weeks and 1 day ago" 

So this little one, is not only 11 weeks (past the scary phase of pregnancy)  but the baby was healthy and just fine! 

Wow 

What a story right!! 

We had another appointment today. We did another ultrasound. Wow that baby was doing summersaults, waving, the whole 9 yards to let mama know that she is just fine! 

Still in shock I'm pregnant, with a healthy baby, and I couldn't be happier!! 

So here I sit, in the waiting room at the hospital getting my blood glucose test. 

I'm so happy. So excited. Scared.. but excited.. 

Kyra is 20, Donna is now 10.. I guess I can't have kids but in 10 year gaps haha 

I can't wait for the future!